Is it just me?

Question

I always feel like such a bad mom.. I get mad too quickly, I don’t make them good enough food, I don’t give them enough to drink, I don’t pay enough attention to them. I feel like I do everything bad. The only thing good I can say to myself is I don’t hit them or scream at them (unless I get scared and they are going to get hurt and that’s just a reaction I need to work on). No matter what I do I feel like it’s not enough. That they deserve way better. They deserve more. They deserve everything. I feel like I give them nothing and they are going to grow up and hate me.. I don’t play with them enough because it puts me in so much pain.. my 2 year old I didn’t play with hardly at all when I was pregnant with my 1 year old because I was in so much pain. Now I’m pregnant again and it’s starting all over… I just wish I was a better mom. I cry all the time feeling like a terrible mom.. Does anyone else feel this way or is it just me..?

Answer

I definitely feel way over extended and exhausted. What I try to do is give them small spurts of good, solid, intentional positive attention. Even if most of the day Im busy, exhausted etc, for a good 10 or 15 mins I will lay in bed in the afternoon and toddler will be with me and I will lay there and ask what their favorite color or animal is, give snuggles and kisses, then at night I will do extra stories and songs. It isnt a lot, Im not the 'lets bake and do fun projects together' mom, but at least they feel my love for them in those small moments. Think about your spouse, do you need a lot of attention from them all day, or would a good 20 minutes of them just looking at you and hugging you and asking you about your day mean more? For food, realize that good food isnt necessarily fancy food, bananas and peanut butter and cottage cheese can be just as nutritious as chicken and potatoes. My house is also a mess but I focus on clean clothes, sheets and kitchen. In other words I try to just get very little 'right'.

Answer

It's not just you! I constantly feel like a shitty parent. I have a 17 month old and a 10 day old. I feel such guilt right now. I feel bad for my older son that life has changed so much and I feel bad for my younger son that I feel burdened by him. My 17 month old eats the same foods ALL the time. I feel bad about that. They won't remember this time anyway. I know my brother and I are nearly 2 years apart and I don't remember a time before him. I don't remember eating spaghetti and thinking wow mom must be tired. All we can do each day is try to be a little better than the last and love our kids.

Answer

I feel EXACTLY the same way as you. I’m 9 months pregnant with baby #2 and feel like I’m always laying down with no energy I feel bad for my 18 month old. She doesn’t always eat the healthiest and sometimes I’ll give her juice and feel horrible telling myself it should have been water. Like just the little things like that. I also feel hardcore guilt that she won’t be the only child anymore nor have all the attention. This sounds bad but someday’s I wish she was still going to be the only child. I know I have severe anxiety and trying to work through it. I also know I’m going to love this second one unconditionally just like my daughter it’s just hard to imagine it right now since he’s not here and I’m in constant pain with exhaustion.

Answer

I think most moms feel like this some days. I’m pregnant with baby #2 and I feel like Peppa Pig is raising my 18m old. 
I’m sure your children are happy and healthy even if you don’t feel it’s “enough”. You might be experiencing some pregnancy related depression so I think you should bring up these feelings to your doctor at your next appointment.

Is it just me?

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