Oblivious or intentional???

I have been with my husband for 3 years (1 year dating 2 married). In the beginning it was amazing and I always admired how much he loved his family and whenever we visited them I was treated like one of their own and it was amazing. His mom and I were like best friends and then all the sudden something changed. I use to be called by her all the time and posted all the time on her social media. We got married and I stopped being posted and I felt like I wasn’t being treated like I was apart of their family. She talks to my husband about important things in our life and she ends up changing his mind about extremely personal topics. For example my husband was in the military and because we were 21, married and recently found out we were expecting so we decided to reenlist and then all of the sudden I got home from work and he said he talked to his mom and he’s not doing that anymore. Ultimately it’s his decision so I just kept my mouth shut. Then she bought plane tickets for my due date without consulting me and I made him have her change them and that was a HUGE deal but it’s just one thing after another with her. My baby is “their whole world” and it’s extremely annoying (i love my daughter being loved but they take it to extremes). They are constantly posting pictures of their family and my baby but NEVER me and they only ever call to talk to my daughter and my husband. His father is sick and when I’m not around his mother tells him that she will kill herself if he dies and all these crazy things! I know they absolutely kill my husband and I honestly feel like she is trying to control him and guilt him into moving back home (we live on opposite sides of the country from them). I am always treated like I’m second when it comes to her because I know she has my husbands mind completely screwed up and I don’t know what to do. When we don’t talk to them things are amazing in my family but then we talk to them and my husband is a whole different person. I just don’t know if I’m crazy or if this is actually a big problem! I feel like her ultimate goal is to get my out of the way so she can have my husband and my daughter to herself. I’m terrified because I know she is ultimately going to be the reason my marriage ends because I have told my husband he needs to build boundaries with her and I don’t feel that it’s happening anytime soon.