Kid getting kicked out of preschool

Hello everyone,

I am at a loss. I have a strong-willed, lively 3-year-old that is not going to be welcome back at her preschool for the next school year. She gets sent home at least once a week, sometimes more. I received an email today from the principal asking for a conference about her behavior. She also stated that if her behavior doesn’t improve that they “will not be able to accommodate” her next year.

I am a teacher. I work with middle school kids, so I know how a difficult child can derail an entire classroom. I’ve tried to look at this objectively and step out of my mommy role. I’m just having trouble marrying what behavior I see in my child every day with what is being reported from her teacher. Her teacher has said on multiple occasions that my daughter is “aggressive” with other kids. That she hits them and kicks them and throws things at them. Today, she was sent home for “throwing mulch in a child’s face”. I have never seen her be aggressive with other kids. She’s very social and has trouble with personal space, but what young child doesn’t? She is very difficult when she’s upset. She will throw herself on the ground and scream. She has kicked me in the past when I wanted her to move somewhere she didn’t want to go. So, I believe the teacher when she says that my daughter has difficulty listening and when she says she throws big tantrums. But, again, I have never seen her go out of her way to harm another child on purpose. Ever.

Ugh. This whole situation is bothering me and I’m not sure what to do about it.