How does a marriage survive this?  I am no longer the woman my husband married only a year ago.  I'm not even someone I recognize when I look in the mirror.  I'm a shell, so empty and cold inside.  I want nothing to do with the things I loved last month.  I'd really rather just never leave my room.  Every one keeps telling me it'll get easier with time.  Just take it day by day they say.  But really I wish time could stop.  I wish everything could stop.  Every minute that passes is one minute further away I am from my baby.  I would give anything to rewind time and make this all go away.  I don't want to move on.  I just want to stay here, where my baby is gone but not to far.  Where I can still feel my belly and remember.  Where I still have the multicolored bruises from these stupid shots.  I dread the day they tell me to stop these shots.  That will be the day that my baby is totally gone.  Even after the D&C I still have a little piece of it with me.  Enough to make the doctors worry I'll clot.  I cling to that last little bit.  Like its my only life line.  That bit and three pictures are all I have.  That's all that's left.