34-36 Weeks? Hydronephrosis/nephrostromy? Pain killers?

Due date July 20th but having her sometime between June 8th (34 weeks) and June 25th (36 weeks) due to bilateral nephrostromy tubes which I got from having bilateral hydronephrosis! I got this because I am very small and the growing uterus is blocking my kidneys from functioning properly. They aren’t sure why I’m in so much pain but it is intense. I don’t want to have her this early, it’s scary. At the same time, I can’t go on like this and the doctors don’t think I should. I just don’t want her to suffer because I’m doing something to take my pain away, you know? It’s bad enough that I have to take morphine. The doctors are acting like it’s completely fine and no harm will be done to her but I have done my research and it’s not great at all. I’ve been in the hospital for a month now! Despite everything, baby is doing great and they’ve said she is doing better with things like accelerating than some full term babies! Her heart rate is usually between 130 and 170ish! This makes me feel a little bit better but I’m still scared.. I hope she will be okay.

Anyone ever have a baby born 34-36 weeks? How did it go? Was your baby okay? Has anyone had a baby born with a small addiction to morphine? How did that go? I feel horrible because I feel like it’s my fault. If she has to go through this it’s going to be heart breaking. I told them I don’t want to relieve my pain only to put her in pain but they think trying without meds would be too much stress on my body and could cause even more problems. No right answer. :(

I would have judged someone else for taking pain meds and basically everything I’m going through right now. You never know until it’s you, please don’t be cruel! I understand why someone would judge me for my situation but please carry on your way if you’re going to be mean, I’ve already thought every mean thought that could be said.