Hard parts of marriage

Can I be open and vulnerable for just a minute? I'm so close to having an affair. My husband and I have been married for 3 years. I've begged for foreplay and told him what I've wanted, how to make me feel loved during sex and it just doesn't happen. I've shut myself down sexually so that I can grow in other love languages and it's helped some which I'm really proud of to see my personal growth.

I'm 21 weeks pregnant and we haven't had sex in 4 months. It's our 4th pregnancy and we're both traumatized from the heartache of our previous losses. He says he doesn't want to hurt the baby and every time he touches me he feels like he's going to hurt me which I know is so sweet of him. I've let him know this rejection is causing me a lot of heartache and a lot of hurt because physical affection is my top love language. I watch him watch me as I get ready for the day/get ready for bed and I feel self conscious of my changing, naked body because there's no desire in his eyes or actions anymore. He used to love caressing my body and telling me how much he loved me and now we cuddle maybe once or twice a week in the evening for a few minutes. I've only gained 5 pounds, all of my pants still fit and we're halfway through the pregnancy (super proud of this too- I'm eating healthy and taking my vitamins I'm just really careful about junk food and sugar). I keep trying to tell myself that this is normal and I know some men don't want to have sex during pregnancy because of fears of hurting the baby but it's seriously such an accute torture. I think about what will happen after the baby when shit gets real and we'll cross that bridge when we get to it but...I cook, I clean, I make him feel loved and supported and take wonderful care of our animals and I ask him to do the dishes or take the garbage out and it's a big deal to him. It hasn't always been like this, when I worked full time he was more helpful with the house but now that he's working full time he hardly lifts a finger. I would come home and cook and clean still, contributing to the household responsibilities because its a partnership. He's not a deadbeat I just wish he were less...self absorbed I guess