Going Thru it mentally *trigger warning*

Yesterday I had a plan to end my life I left my daughter with her dad and drove to my apartment so I can be alone the ride there I was set on ending it . I made it there and couldn’t do it I cried so much and decided I needed to leave and tell my bf about the situation. So I told him about it he called it ridiculous & stupid told me that I don’t have any reason to want to do that. Then I shut down I couldn’t talk to him last night he wanted to talk but started mocking me he pretty much made fun of what I’m going thru . We argued and kept arguing he kept saying he wants to talk but I can’t talk to someone that’s not even listening to me. I’ve been telling him for the past few days that something is wrong with me and I can’t even explain what’s going on in my head. I have cried so much to the point to where I’m hurting physically my entire body hurts , I feel like I’m going Thru the worst heart break. I have an appointment to see a therapist on Tuesday . The fact that he’s not even being there for me is hurting me more he keeps bringing up how I wasn’t there for him when his mom died. When his mom passed away I was still going thru PPD & he didn’t care about my feelings I pushed everything I had going on with myself to the back of my head to at least try to be there for him even having Covid. I told him last night to just let me sleep in a little bit today because my body is sore and I need the extra sleep. He got mad because I wanted to sleep until 12 and says that today is Father’s Day and he wants to do stuff before he goes to work. I honestly don’t know what to do.