TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide

How long do people mourn? This happened 12/31. My cousin hung himself. He was the one cousin I was close to and meant everything to me. I am so angry and still find myself crying. I don’t blame anyone but I’m very angry and resent his girlfriend in a way. They had a toxic relationship (she was a drug addict), and he went outside a week prior to killing himself screaming he was going to kill himself so the neighbors called the cops. Once they got there, his girlfriend said he never said that and that they couldn’t see him because he was fine. Well, the cops left it at that and a week later he killed himself. Had she not done that, I feel like he could’ve been helped, he would’ve been in a hospital on the day he killed himself. It makes me even more mad because on Christmas was the last known picture and he genuinely looked happy and a couple days later he killed him. He should be here, happy. It makes me even madder I couldn’t go to his funeral because it was in another state and someone started a fight at his funeral which just enrages me. I’m a person who doesn’t like talking about things like that. I would never talk to anyone about my dad for YEARS. I have no desire to talk about my cousin either. I don’t like when they are brought up and I don’t know why.

My dad passed when I was 13 and it was hard but I don’t feel it was as hard as this. Maybe because it was natural causes.