Marriage advice

My husband and I have never had a wonderful relationship. We’ve always butted heads but we do love eachother and continue to try and grow as a couple. We recently had a baby via ivf after 3 years of infertility/miscarriages. Since giving birth we have been so off. We argue 24/7 and our lives are just so miserable because of it. He’s very controlling and thinks the worst of every person and situation. He also has an awful family whereas mine is so amazing and supportive so he resents me for that and tries to pull me away from them. He is very very verbally abusive which in turn over the years has unfortunately rubbed off on me and I am quite mean to him as well during these heated arguments. Never physical. Anyways, I don’t want a divorce at all. Neither does he. But We’ve tried counseling multiple times. I’m just at a loss. I don’t want my baby growing up in such a bad home where her parents argue all the time.