Do any other special needs mommas feel this way?

I see people strolling happily through stores with their children. People on vacation. Going hiking in the mountains. Going to the beach. Their kids happy and smiling and making memories.

I can’t do that stuff with my child. He is autistic and severely adhd. He screams at any deviation from his routine. Melts down in stores. Runs away. Can’t handle going to a restaurant. Can’t handle doing anything except staying at home. He becomes violent. Will not stop screaming. I feel so trapped sometimes because of his behavior.

I get so jealous of parents with neurotypical kids. How they think nothing of just hopping in the car and going on a Target run with their daughter/son. How they plan family vacations. I feel so bad about my feelings. Guilt mostly, for thinking “why me” all of the time.

It’s just so hard.