Confused

I decided to separate from my husband when I felt like I was putting more in the relationship than he was, he didn’t fight for me or with me. I think we were both holding on to the thought of each other. It hasn’t been easy at all but my life is significantly better without and from the looks of it his is to. But I can’t help but miss him and because we have a couple things together we are unfortunately unable to completely stop contacting. His birthday is coming and I been in my feelings real bad and I definitely messaged him and he was responding but very late and very short. I know I shouldn’t feel a type of way because I left but I can’t but wanting to rekindle. I still love and care for him but I am very confused and I know I should just let go but it’s only been 3 months and I just be wanting to speak to him. What can I do ?