I think my coworker likes me but he said no..

Alright ladies, ask your man, your brother, your dad, whoever because I am so confused.

My coworker and I have a very strange relationship. He and I have always been friendly. Like hug goodbye every day, he always tells me I’m beautiful, that I smell good, etc etc. every compliment imaginable.

Well, the other day I was having a horrible day. I walked in and just immediately started crying. It was like my 8th day straight of working and I was just over it. He saw me crying, and immediately pulled me into my office and shut the door for privacy. He sat me down in my chair and started rubbing my neck/shoulders, asking me what’s wrong.

I just bubbled over with everything, I couldn’t hold it in. The guy I was seeing was treating me like shit and that kind of became the main focus of the conversation because that was honestly the root of the frustrations.

My coworker started asking me if this guy ever does anything to show that he actually cares for me (like cooking for me, taking me out, buying me gifts, telling me how he feels) and I said no because he really never did. Coworker got SO angry. Like clenching fists, cussing, like he couldn’t believe a man wouldn’t treat me like that. Exact words were “you deserve a man that will spend his last dime on you and drop everything to make sure you’re okay.”

We sat and talked for probably about 30 minutes. He held my hand rubbed my thigh and just let me cry it out. Towards the end, he said “can I give you something to think about?” I said yes, thinking he was going to offer advice. He kissed me. On the mouth, like got up from his chair and leaned down to kiss me. Girlll I ain’t never been kissed like that before. When he pulled away he said “just in case no one told you today, I love you.”

I was shocked. I panicked and froze and I honestly didn’t have the best response. He tried to kiss me again before he left but I moved my head and he caught my cheek like by the corner of my mouth. Kinda lingered there for a second like he was asking for permission to actually kiss me again.

Later that night I texted him and asked what he meant by “something to think about” and he said that he meant think about someone that would treat me right.

The next day, we had some free time so we sat in my office again and talked about happier things and he asked me if I had a chance to speak to the guy I was seeing about the way he was making me feel. I told him no, that I was scared to and that I needed more time. He didn’t say much after that, but he let me paint his nail white out and he gave me a really nice, long hug goodbye.

By this point I’m like overthinking absolutely everything and going over every “moment” him and I have shared before. Every word, every hug, every touch, every stolen look. And I’m catching feelings. So what do I do? I TELL HIM.

And his response? That he understand why I feel like that and he’s sorry for being so impulsive. He also kind of stressed that people at our job have been gossiping about us and our friendship and he was nervous about getting fired.

Honestly, I feel like I just got friend zoned so hard but at the same time I’m very confused because he showed all the classic signs of having interest in me. Eye contact, finding excuses to touch me, asking how I’m doing and actually listening, complimenting me, KISSING me ffs. And now he’s trying to say he’s not interested in me even a little bit. Please send help. Either he’s really scared of getting fired (good reason to keep distance, but we’re young so it’s not like our jobs are hard to replace) or he really just played me horrifically.