He made me feel like shit and I don’t think I’ll recover

I’m not sure if I posted this, but basically a few months back my boyfriend and I got into a bicker because he stopped trying to finish me off during the deed. At all. No effort for me, only himself. After MONTHS of amazing sex.

I brought it up, told him I wasn’t trying to attack him and assured him I’m still happy with him I’m just not happy he doesn’t try to let me finish too. Said I’d be happy even if it was just hands/toys.

He was quiet a second and I asked his thoughts.

Then he blew up on me.

He said “at least I don’t drag on you for not being able to ride. I thought you were going to break my dick last time and I never want you to ride me again!”

I kept calm in the moment and reminded him I wasn’t attacking him and I’m just struggling with it and I apologized for not being strong enough to ride him, but said it wouldn’t hurt to help/teach me how he likes it.

Anyway it’s been over 3 months since he said that and I haven’t been on top and I don’t think I could do it again for anyone.