So I’m about four months pregnant. As excited as I am, I have been feeling like there is a dark cloud over me and just utter sadness since I found out I am pregnant.

I feel so guilty for feeling this way since I know that there are so many people not able to have babies and try so hard. I also was very concerned I wasn’t able to conceive. So the fact that I’m so down and blue is so ironic to me.

I feel bad talking to my fiancé about it because he he is so excited. Beyond excited and happy and just doesn’t have any worries.

I’m filled with excitement one day, and the next day I’m reminded my whole life is going to change in a few month. I’m reminded I won’t be able to just go on a trip with just me and my fiancé. I just get this overwhelmeing sadness and I feel terrible. I love this baby, but at the same time it’s been so hard for me to connect with it.

I have a therapy session soon today and I’ve been talking about it but definitely feel like I have some sort of prenatal depression.