Surgery… trigger warning

My 1yo has to have heart surgery soon and my mental health has been bad because of it…. I wish I could take away his condition… I’ve cried so much that I can’t cry anymore…. We’ve known he would need surgery since before he was born so I should’ve been ready for when he needed it but nope… I feel like this is my first time hearing about it…

I’m currently pregnant with our third and trying hard not to stress or be upset too much as I’m having a lot of complications this pregnancy like preeclampsia but it’s really hard… my kids are my everything and I can’t protect him if something happen during his surgery as I know I’m not allowed in…