Do I have a right to be upset??

Question

My fiancé and I got into an argument. He is trading in his car for a new one and the price of this car is like up the roof it’s so expensive, we are trying to buy a house so he asked me what I thought and I said it would be better if he could find something less expensive so we don’t go into debt. He got so upset with me and kept saying how I don’t care about the things he wants in life and how he should just not bother being happy anymore. Then he talked to his parents about it, and his parents basically agreed with me saying it’s so expensive. When they said that he was like okay yeah that makes total sense! I talked to him and said it’s important to keep your family involved if you want too but if I’m gonna be his wife someday he has to value my opinion on choices we make together also? Idk it was just super weird to me. Then he told me that since we get along so well most of the time, he basically was super dramatic about the car thing on purpose and he really did agree with me the whole time… I asked him why the heck would he want to argue for no reason? He said he wanted to see how I respond to conflict. I told him we can work on our conflict on like actual real issues and arguments and he said no because that’s too scary. I’m so confused.????

Answer

So he thinks it’s OK to manipulate you to see how you are going to handle conflict? He’s blowing smoke up your ass. He’s making an excuse for not valuing and respecting your opinion and he’s actually gaslighting you￼. You absolutely have the right to be upset.

Answer

I wouldn't be with someone who is playing games like.

Answer

My first thought is by the house first, because then you’re debt to income ratio will be completely off and you may not be able to get a house if you have too much debt. And the next thing cars are the worst investment, 20% appreciation the mini you drive off the lot, on top of expensive car payments, increasing insurance, and you get in a car accident there goes your investment, that car is never the same even after repairs, and as cheaply made as cars are nowadays, the quality isn’t there. Cars back in the day are much better quality, you could literally drive into a brick wall and the car would be fine and so are you. Now you tap another car and it crumbles like a tin can because the bumpers are made out of Styrofoam and a piece of plastic. And unfortunately you don’t find that out until you’re in an accident. Do you want to know what the one of the most popular vehicles that still on the road today, the early 2000 Toyota Camry’s, still on the road, still working, probably have at least 250,000 miles on the car still going, that car is a tank. Been in several accidents in that car, not my fault, and that car literally I totaled a Hyundai Sonata that came out in front of me didn’t see me when I had the right of way, you know what happened to my car, the plastic over the light broke but the light still worked, and there was a scratch on the bumper. Very safe vehicle. I would absolutely not buy a new car right now, prices are ridiculous because inventory is low. Most people had to buy out their car leases because there were not cars available at the end of last year. I would absolutely wait to buy a new car, and I would not buy a new car, I would buy a used car and not have additional expense. On top of that I will wait until you buy the house because the last thing you want is your debt to income ratio to be off, or them denying your loan because you just bought a $50,000 car payment or $30,000 car payment. I would make the house a priority, and on top of that Your partner is being immature and petty, he shouldn’t be involving his parents and your decisions or fighting, because the last thing you want is his parents looking at you like a bad person, you don’t air your dirty laundry to other people, because then they start looking at you as a bad guy and the problem. I’m testing you, to see how you react, and I’d be testing you to see how I react with me walking out the door with your bullshit. See how your test worked, thanks for the bullshit. If he doesn’t have the common sense to act like a toddler when he doesn’t get what he wants, boy is that gonna be a long relationship of a lot of fights and arguments. Especially when he doesn’t get sex or whatever he wants, i’m gonna go tell my mommy on you, I’m going to tell her you’re a big meanie. ￼good luck with that one. And then it will be mommy becoming the monster-in-law, interfering with your relationship, how you raise your kids, etc. making you the enemy. Good luck you’re gonna need it￼

Do I have a right to be upset??

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