Being in a relatively sexless marriage?

I always see posts on mom groups and this app about how people could never be in a sexless marriage and how they’re having sex with their husbands every day and it makes me feel really bad. My husband and I have sex maybe once a month? Between a child with special needs, being military and constantly being busy, no childcare and no family around to help, we just have zero times to ourselves and at night we’re just so tired. We love each other so much and are flirty and always laughing together. Is it really a problem we’re not having sex? Everyone makes it seem like it’s a horrible thing and we’re doomed.