Would this bother you? Bf’s mom doesn’t want me at his bday dinner.

My bf (24m) and I (23f) have been together for 2 years. We are both students and live with our families so we can save up money.

His family is from Egypt and his parents are Muslim. My family is German-Canadian and my parents are Christian. Both of us don’t identify with our parent’s faith but can respect their beliefs. I’ve met his family on a few occasions and I like them (and vice versa).

Something I’m struggling with though, is that his parents essentially refuse to meet my family until my bf and I are engaged. Their logic is, is that an engagement would truly show our commitment to each other. We’ve talked a lot about getting engaged but have decided to wait another year until we’re both finished school. By now, I would have ideally liked our families to meet at least once so they can get to know each other.

My bf’s mom also doesn’t want me at my bf’s b-day dinner tonight, but instead suggested I join them for a dinner after his bday. My bf is also very upset about this as he doesn’t even have a say of who can attend his bday dinner. I think she’s trying to maintain the boundary between the nuclear family and guests (me) because we aren’t married yet. Ultimately, I can handle not going to his bday dinner because I have a special day planned for the two of us tomorrow, but I’m concerned because I just can’t imagine how these rules will suddenly dissolve if we were to get married. Am I overthinking things or is this a yellow/red flag?