Am I the asshole? Baby shower drama.

Question

So my friends having a baby shower. My friend let’s call her Jane and I are def going but Jane will be out of the country until Friday and Saturday is the baby shower. She said she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to make it but she’ll let me know. I say okay. We decide to invite another friend who doesn’t know baby shower girl that well but she knows her. So we invite this other friend she says yes and I give her the baby registry and she bought something on it. That’s on her. 
I’ve never had beef with this friend so idk what’s going on. I text her, let’s name her Sarah. I tell her that Jane might not be able to come and I’m not going if Jane isn’t. 
And this is how the convo goes… 
Me: Hey I'm just letting you know Jane is in India and won't be back til Friday. And I'm not sure if she will be able to attend the baby shower bc of jet lag. If she's not going I'm not going lol. 
Sarah: I get that. l already bought the gift  bc you sent me the link lol
It's not a matter returning it but more so it's going to show that I got it. 
Me: I got her a gift too.. but I really dont wanna go if she's not going lol. We can always meet up with (baby shower girl)  another day. Let's see what Jane says though. I told her to tell me on Saturday how she feels. 
Sarah: I'm not really close to (baby shower girl)  like that. I was just going w/ the flow. I'm not pressed to go. Idk what yall's relationships are like either lol. It doesn't matter what ya'll decide. I was just considering that its a registry that's all
Me: yeah I know I was just letting you know. 
Sarah:   it was just you were restating so idk if you misunderstood me but ok lol  
I have never done anything to this girl. In fact I saw her last month and she was fine. So I don’t know what the issue is.

Accepted Answer

I would definitely be annoyed if my friends invited me to an acquaintance’s baby shower & then bailed after I bought a gift and committed to going. Your friend that doesn’t know baby shower girl well is only going because YOU invited her. Now you’re potentially backing out. I also think it’s shitty that you’re going to bail on someone’s baby shower last minute if one of your other friends doesn’t come. It doesn’t sound like you’re that great of a friend to these people

Answer

The problem is why are you all inviting someone who isn't really friends with the mother of the baby? You don't just invite random people to someone's baby shower. Also if you're really the mother's friend why would you not go to her baby shower just because your friend won't be able to make it? That's shitty. This isn't Middle school where you need a friend holding your hand to go celebrate your friend's baby.....
You all are definitely the ones in the wrong for inviting a rando then saying you won't go because soand so won't go. 
A baby shower is to celebrate a baby coming into the world and to celebrate the mother.. you all have your priorities way mixed up and if I was the mother I wouldn't want you all as friends if this is how you act.

Answer

It sounds like her concern is that the gift will be marked on the registry as having been bought, and if she returns it people might not know and still won’t buy it. So they will think they’re getting one since it’s been marked on the registry but then it won’t be there. But either way, yeah I’d be mad if I were her. You can’t invite someone to something, wait until they’ve bought a gift and all and then bail on them 🤷🏼‍♀️ especially when they don’t know the person who’s event it is that well.

Answer

How old are you? You don’t need to hold the girls hand that’s in India. If that girl is your true friend you’ll go to the baby shower either way. If not, thats shitty.

Answer

How is that even a question? Of course is you. Sarah did nothing wrong at all. You are letting down people if the other one is able to make it, I thought baby showers are for adults.

Answer

First off ..you inviting others to a baby shower is wrong. MAYBE one person but to invite Sarah that doesn't even really know the girl was a mistake. And Second... Who tf cares if Jane can't go. If the mom-to-be is truly your friend and she invited YOU...go! You can go by yourself if need be...I'm assuming you're a big girl. 
Sarah did absolutely nothing wrong...she doesn't even seem that upset...just concerned about the registry gift marked off. That's all. You're in the wrong here.

Am I the asshole? Baby shower drama.

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey