Was anyone else robbed of precious bonding time with baby?

Question

Did anyone else feel they got robbed of genuine bonding time, that could’ve made a serious difference in how well they knew their baby? My daughter was born at 34 weeks and a day (her birthday is August 25th) and this was the only “private” moment we got together for the first 8 days of her life, and I genuinely feel that her NICU stay robbed me of initially getting to know my baby. We only got 20 minutes of skin to skin contact, and then I didn’t get to see her until a couple hours after I got moved to my recovery room and got my vitals taken as well as my first couple of uterus/blood checks. Because of that mixed with the stress from the day NICU nurse to get her to eat almost an ounce immediately, I feel I kind of formed a little wall between my daughter and I. I’m only JUST now beginning to figure out my daughter’s personality and it hurts so bad because she’s almost 3 weeks old. I feel by now I should know more about her then I actually do and it bothers me. I just want to see if any other moms or premie moms feel/felt the same way..

Answer

Felt the same thing with my baby. 😭 She was born just after midnight at exactly 34 weeks. I went though so much mentally, physically, I can't even describe it, but I know how you feel! My babe was also born March 15, 2020, right as the world shut down. And while she was in the nicu, we had the stay home stay safe order for our state. I also had a toddler, and a c-section so I could only visit the hospital for like 2-3 hours a day with my husband, since I couldn't drive myself and we needed my FIL to watch our toddler at home since she wasn't allowed at the hospital at all. I went through PTSD because of it all. I'm sure if it happened at a different time, I wouldn't have gone through the PTSD as bad. But I missed out on all the stuff I wanted to experience with my baby girl 😭 I couldn't see her, hold her for hours after I had her... It was so so hard. Try to get support from somewhere if you can. I lacked support from every angle in 2020 and it messed me up. The day she came home though, exactly 2 weeks later, was honestly the best feeling in the world. I held her every second of every day. When I had to lay her down at night next to me, I couldn't even do that. I just wanted to hold her in my arms. I was never annoyed by the crying, the fussing, lack of sleep, oh and the pumping schedule, because I was still working on breastfeeding. Goodness, that was a hard time. But it felt so good to bring her home. Sorry that was long, you just brought back a lot of memories, bad and good. ❤️

Answer

Yes!! I had a very sudden, traumatic and life threatening delivery which ended with me on life support for several days following my c-section. My son was born at 37 + 1, but had some breathing complications due to what happened with me (I had blood clots in my lungs and had been having issues breathing for about a little over a month.). I was also on a medication he would need to be watched/possibly weaned off of, so that kept him in there for about two and a half weeks. 
Once I came off the life support and out of the ICU, the hospital still refused to let me see him. When I had originally come in with breathing issues, they ran one of the super sensitive Covid tests and it picked up traces of the virus from my infection in June. My rapid tests stayed negative the whole time, and I had zero symptoms other than trouble breathing (which was due to the blood clots).
I ended up not being able to hold, touch, or even see my baby boy for 20 days. My husband and mother could, thank God, but it was the longest and quite frankly worse 2 1/2 weeks of my life.  I’m still dealing with everything that happened to me and feel very deeply we are not bonded as much as we should be. I love him more than life itself - I’m bonded to HIM, but I don’t think he is to me very much. I’m hoping to change that soon. 
One of the first pics of him. We were both on vents that first night.

Our first family photo 💜

Him now 💜💜

Answer

Just wanted to add: this was my first time getting skin to skin with my daughter. Unfortunately, it was 13-14 hours after I had her that I got to hold her for the first time. But it was the best thing in my life.

Answer

Immediately after having my son at 33 weeks they cleaned him up stuck an IV in him and took him to the NICU I told them don't I get skin to skin and they said since he's so little he needed to immediately go to NICU I was so sad luckily labor was quick and I recovered fast so I was able to go see him once he got a room but I felt so robbed of his first few weeks,.I was pumping around the clock for him and could barely hold him 😔 he's 1 now and thriving and such a mommas boys. ❤️

Answer

My girl came at 33 weeks and I got to see her for maybe 30 seconds in the little incubator (didn’t get to hold her at all)  before she got transferred over an our away from me and I was stuck at my hospital. I didn’t get to see her again or hold her till 3 days later when they finally transferred me down there.

Answer

My daughter was born at 38+4 but was growth restricted (4 lbs 12 oz) and was born by emergency c section. I didn't get any skin to skin with her until 6 hours after birth as she was taken to NICU. I only got to see her and kiss her forehead before they rushed her away. I wasn't able to try breastfeeding her until more than 24 hours after birth, and that, coupled with the stress leading up to and around her birth led to me having a low milk supply which wasn't diagnosed until a week later. She stayed in NICU  for 2 weeks and with the stress of trying to feed her I feel like I didn't even start really getting to know her until she was over a month old - with my low supply I was triple feeding so was exhausted, stressed and anxious and couldn't enjoy being her mum

Answer

I completely understand I had my son at 30 weeks and the only time I really got with him was when they laid him on my chest for less than a minute and told me to give his a kiss on his head. After that they just took him to the NICU and I had to wait almost a whole day just to see him, he’s almost 6 weeks already and I’m just now getting to know my little man. It really sucks so I understand how you feel momma but congratulations and I hope everything goes well. Good luck on your journey!❤️

Was anyone else robbed of precious bonding time with baby?

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