TL:DR I’m getting therapy so I stop being such a doormat when it comes to my schedule, but before I got the chance to bring it up, my therapist made a habit of rescheduling every appointment last minute. Now I don’t want to talk about it in therapy because I don’t want to make her feel guilty.

I am very much a people pleaser even if something about it really pisses me off. Especially if it has to do with re-planning things. If I have a set time and date that we BOTH agreed on then it has to be postponed for personal reasons it throws me and my mental schedule off and I’m irritable with no motivation for the rest of the day. And if it happens repeatedly I start getting pissed every time the idea is even suggested. But I say yes because I don’t want to get in the way of something clearly way more important than me. I’m seeing a therapist to work through that and my other issues BUT SHE KEEPS DOING IT WITH OUR APPOINTMENTS AND I WANT TO SCREAM. I haven’t mentioned it to her and now I feel like if I do she’ll just feel guilty and I don’t want to hurt people WHICH IS THE REASON I PUT MYSELF IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE. We had settled on meeting every other week at a certain time. Then she changed the time. Then she changed day. Then she changed it from every other week to the first and third week(so some months it’s not biweekly) and each individual appointment gets pushed around. And it fucks with my schedule because I got all ready to leave work early and go to the bank after my appointment and get home around the usual time and do my usual thing but now I don’t get to go to the bank and my workload has shifted and I won’t have time to go to the bank tomorrow because she changed the time too and I’ll get home late so I’ll have to cook dinner immediately and I’ll have no time for myself but that definitely won’t mentally register and I’ll end up staying up late without realizing and then I’ll be tired the next day. This happens every appointment and I just want to drop her at this point but the waiting list for every other therapist in a 30 mile radius is SO LONG.

Side note: before anyone insults me or tells me to grow some balls: I’m seeing a therapist because I’m autistic and have anxiety. These are real issues for me, even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal to you.