Wild second born

My October baby is our second child. We have an almost 4 year old son and then our daughter. I see all these posts on TikTok about how that second born child is a whole different specimen and I am seeing that lol. And I am feeling like such a failure as a parent. My first at least as remorse. My daughter does not listen and when you try and discipline she just laughs. I am trying not to get frustrated with her but she is breaking any patience I thought I had. Any tips for redirecting her energy, I want to keep that strong willed personality but just put it to useful things