I don’t know if I actually love my husband or not

For starters. I have autism. My perception of closeness within relationships is a little different. I have never had really close friends that I couldn’t live without, or truthfully, liked fully. I have always gotten very easily annoyed with others and prefer to be alone. I know that I love my family members like my mom, dad, and sister, because regardless, I always want them in my life.

I got married in 2018 because I got pregnant, and our families encouraged it. I do think I love him as like my family member, but I don’t know if I’m “in love” with him. I see videos and posts people make about how over the moon they are with their spouses, the things they do with each other and for each other, how they’re constantly intimate/having sex, they can talk about anything, etc. I don’t really feel that way about my husband. We don’t really talk to each other intimately about feelings or anything. We don’t touch very often. We work well together as partners and maintaining our household and taking care of our kids, but I just don’t know if I love him like spouses should? I think I love him more as like an integral part of my family but a lot of the time I don’t like his personality much. He’s very moody, touchy, angry sometimes. He kinda bores me because he doesn’t really have any it interests. He says really mean and hurtful things to me sometimes in regards to my autism and encourages me to mask (hide) my quirks because I guess they embarrass him.

I don’t know what the point of this post is. I guess, advice? Words of wisdom? Anyone?