AM I CRAZY TO BE PISSED OFF?

My boyfriend begged me me to have sex with him the first time we hooked up. He’s the best guy. He’s truly genuine, smart, funny and a good guy. He is 42, I am 29.

Yet, we never have sex. Despite me bringing it up all the time how important it is for me to feel intimate with him. I think he struggles from ED with his anxiety medications. Thing is, I take the same medication. He gets so upset if i tell anybody but it’s making me lose my mind. My self esteem is gone. The only fight we have is that he never initiates sex nor does he cum half the time. He will choose another drink over sex with me.

It’s been well over a year and a half of him saying “just give me some time”, including a prescription to viagra. It is RUINING me. I wouldn’t get so upset, except he wants to have a baby with me. He didn’t have sex with me despite all the money I spent on ovulation kits. And I was off for two weeks, he chose my first day back to work to jerk off. His phone history is him searching celebrities in bikinis. I spent so much money on stuff to get pregnant, the only time I could “make” him, is if I was ovulation. I am tired of feeling like an incubator. Fuck the pump and dump. When we do have sex, he never does anything to make me feel good. I have communicated this several times. I’m torn because I’m so in love but this feels so unfair.

I wouldn’t care about that shit if he quit denying me having sex with him. Google whoever you want. I mean, he would stop me from trying to blow him. He is my best friend. Why. Why is this happening to me!!!!!! He says it’s nothing to do with me and that it is him. It feels so personal I can’t even tell you how many times I cry myself to sleep.