In a month I’ll be turning 21 and have no friends to celebrate it with.

Every since I was 18, all my birthdays have ended up only being celebrated with family. Which I was fine with at the time, but now I’m not.

I’ll be turning 21 soon and that’s such a big milestone and overall just a big deal I feel like. And whenever I see others turning 21, they’re almost always going out with their friends and having an amazing time and have some type of fun that’s separate from what they do with their family.

And I’m honestly kind of jealous of that. I started losing touch with friends around senior year of high school and now almost everyone I was close to, have all moved to different states or we’ve drifted apart from just being in different cities.

Even before I moved last year, the friends that were still around, I was barely able to see because our schedules couldn’t ever line up. With one friend in particular who I’ve known since I was 9, I didn’t even get to say a goodbye to her before moving because she was so busy or wouldn’t respond to texts I would send to her asking to hangout one last time before I moved and she went off to college(which honestly hurt because she made it pretty clear there wasn’t going to be a friendship moving forward as we go on to do other things with our lives.)(which I do understand happens, and I’ve mourned the friendship we had) .

I guess I’m just making this post because I’m bummed that I’ll be turning 21 and probably won’t end up doing anything all that memorable just like the last four birthdays I’ve had(or since after turning 18).