I just want someone to hold and kiss me.

Im divorcing my husband. Taking a second because im not 100% sure. But the only 5% holding me back is probably because starting over is gonna be hard and sentiment.

But I don't deserve to be with a narcissist, liar, and manipulator.

And I haven't even officially filed for divorce yet, were just physically separated because I went home to family.

I know I can't date because 1. I need to do some healing because this was so traumatic and 2. I'm still officially married...

But I just want to hold me and kiss me and tell me I'm beautiful. And it hurts that I don't have that anymore when I would have had the last 10 years to find someone who actually loves me if he hadn't lied to and manipulated me

EDIT: Dating before divorce is just against my morals. I consider it cheating which is something I would never do. Its fine if other people think its fine, but for me it is against my beliefs