Advise?! Sorry too long

Question

I'm looking for some advise. Would greatly appreciate it that I'm not judge. I know it's wrong but I just need advise.

I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant by a married military man. I've known him since 2011, we dated then and then I left him thinking I was going to make life with my first child's father. Of course that didn't happen. So he's been married for year. We've always had a contact somehow. We've always had love for each other and still do, well I do. He's separated from his wife and we hooked up. Well I ended up pregnant. I HAD THE PARAGUARD IUD for only 5 years. I wasn't suppose to get pregnant. I know not having sex would of helped but yeah. Well I informed him and he said he would take care of his responsibilities but sometimes he's just so careless. I completely understand that I messed up and it's something that I have to deal with. One day he's so caring and we are picking names out and talking about the baby and some days I'm just completely ignored. He said to let him know what I need and he would help me. I'm going to try to coparent with him. I hate going to court! He has another child already, not with his wife but before her. He's a great father. But if he doesn't help I'm taking him to court for child support. I think my child will benefit more that way. Idk. I'm so confused! Am I over reacting?!? Am I doing the right thing?! Any help???

**No his wife is not aware. And no we are not in a relationship!

Answer

I wonder how he will take care of your child without his wife finding out.

Answer

Ok, so you slept with a married man, and got pregnant. 
first problem is that he's in the military. If his CO finds that he's committed adultery, he'll get in a lot of trouble, and could actually end up in jail.
Second, of course he's not going to pay attention to you some days. He's a busy man, between work & dealing with his wife, and he's clearly got a lot going on. 
Third, how will co-parenting work if his wife is unaware of you and your pregnancy? He would have to tell her, which will make things a lot worse, and harder on you and your child.
My opinion? I would wait and see how things go before you decide that you're going to co-parent. I'd take the safe route after baby is born. Get a paternity test to be 100% sure (even though you know). Go through the court processes and establish a parenting plan, and child support. It's easier that way, and will protect you, your child, and the father.

Answer

Well, I wouldn't expect someone who has sex with other women while still married to be the epitome of responsible. So I would file for child support.

Answer

Military people make enough money. So I know that he can support you. If he doesn't and then his chain of command finds out he can get into trouble.. Like an article 15 or a LOR

Answer

Well if they were separated it should be something he can be honest about... It might be the last straw for her as they are separated... But if not, without her knowing and cooperation co parenting may be really tough! He should probably come clean with her about it. Honesty is the best policy. Good luck

Answer

his wife will find out somehow...and he will probably end up spending some time in the brig for cheating on his wife and maybe even end up discharged(not sure on how military handles this anymore)...but it's not your job to worry about his other kids just your child with him...he is a grown man and knows what he should and shouldn't be doing...I feel bad for you cause your going through this and i also feel horrible for his wife...never been in this situation but I would tell him that we need to tell his wife and figure out what is best for the baby...good luck

Answer

Does his wife know? Are you guys dating?

Advise?! Sorry too long

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