I’m one of those people who has always dreamed of getting pregnant and having many babies, but now that we are finally ttc this month I am depressed about it!

My husband sat me down to have a talk about how after Covid he feels like he lost his identity. He used to be a big party guy, loved going to bars, concerts, karaoke etc. But during Covid he went overboard with alcohol due to job related anxiety. He has repaired his relationship with alcohol and is in a great place now. But he feels like he doesn’t know who he is anymore, all he does is work and he never does any of the old things he used to love, plus all his friends have moved out of state. While he agrees it’s time to start ttc (he’s 37 I’m 28) he seems like he is having a tough time realizing his party days are over and without that old lifestyle he doesn’t know who he is. He said he fears having a baby will stop him from doing things but couldn’t name what those things are (he isn’t doing much these days besides working from home). I recommended him picking up new hobbies and finding a new friend group but he hasn’t acted in that.

The reason I’m sharing this is because even though he agreed to ttc, I always thought this season of life would be so joyful but instead I’m worried that if I get pregnant he will have an identity crisis, or he won’t be excited and it is stealing my joy. He told me not to put any weight on his lack of external excitement but I can’t help but have this anxiety. Any advise? Did your partners feel this way too? I just want to be excited! Feeling heartbroken.