My partner has 4 kids with another women, he was with her for 14 years. Two are older and two are younger (4,5) they are FASD and were diagnosed at 4… he didn’t know she drank during the 5 year old while she was pregnant.. he started to catch on at the end then she ended up pregnant right after with the now 4 year old… evidently her choices led him to leave after the birth. He stayed while she was pregnant with the last because he didn’t want to send her into a deeper hole of drinking as she was pregnant. He did what he could to stop her, he took bank cards and credit cards, he monitored the money, he would throw it out when he found bottles. He worked full time so he wasn’t home 24/7, she pawned alot of their shit to support drinking… she drank hard liquor pretty much every day. Anyways, so these two wonderful kids are now going to have deficits for their entire lives, they can live normal… but there’s problems that come with FASD.. especially behaviour and it’s sad because I know why they act certain ways and it’s not their fault. He’s got full custody of the kids and she has absolutely no rights to even see them. She needs to prove her sobriety and then maintain it before she gets granted supervised visits and she has yet to do that. My partners got it hard, he loves the kdis with his whole heart and does best for them but it can get exhausting… they’re hyper active, go in and out of fits of rage, they are hard to get to sleep and we have to keep door alarms on all doors because they like to get into shit during the night. You cannot look away for a second or they’re into something doing something they shouldn’t. Again, they are wonderful kids and I love them so much but I must admit it’s tiring sometimes… since he’s got full custody we have them 7 days a week no breaks. What gets me is that his mom lives 10 mins from us and isn’t really involved.. she complains about their behaviours and I get it, they’re busy kids but she wants to watch from the sidelines and let my partner drown. I can see the exhaustion in him, I can see he’s run down and needs a weekend for himself to just do what he wants, sleep as long as he wants with no worries of watching kids but his mom has no sympathy at all she just doesn’t care, she doesn’t care he’s run down, she doesn’t care to spend time with them.. like yes they’re busy but they are manageable. It’s not expected to take them for an entire weekend obviously that would be nice but even for a few hours here and there… I was diagnosed preeclampsia and high risk. Bed rest is on the table for me and it doesn’t seem possible with 3 kids… I have them while he works. I reached out to his mom and mentioned this and the possibility of sometimes needing some help and she dead ass said maybe he should not work until after the baby is born… I’m 29 weeks! We have bills, we have many mouths to feed. He cannot just not work, he wouldn’t get compensated for being off. It’s literally impossible for him to not work.. we would be homeless and have hungry kids. Idk it just sucks, I’m venting I guess.. I don’t understand why she is like this. It blows my mind, I know my pregnancy wasn’t her choice but again, they’re her grand kids and son…. Don’t do it for me do it for them.

I’m upset that she doesn’t want to be involved. I’m upset that I have no one to turn to when I get out on bed rest. I’m upset that she thinks her son quitting work is even an option. They’re in therapies, they go to a special place that specializes in what they have it’s just unfortunately they will have behaviours regardless of therapies.