I finally left my relationship. It was messy, toxic, nasty and things were horrible for a while. We had to clean our old rental together and one thing lead to another and we are back sleeping together and hes the person I had been wanting him to be. Started getting help, is on meds and is showing me this new side of him. He was sleeping with someone else and has cut that off but still messages her and calls all day.

He has started getting angry at me for things i did while we were separated because they involved our kids meeting someone i was dating. They are both under 4 and only knew him as my friend, nothing else. im starting to feel that dark crappy feeling i had while we were together. Im scared how my emotions depends so much on him. He states he cant even look at me. He said it was the one thing he wanted me not to do. To my defence, he was no where to be seen for 2 months, i had started seeing someone and didnt want to dump the kids with my mum. We took them to the park, had picnics, just innocent fun. When my ex and i started sleeping together i ended things with the guy i was dating because i wanted my family back together if he had claimed to have changed as much as he did.

I find my ex fun, exciting and thrilling, we have good banter but im always on edge.

I dont know if this is normal. Im scared I wont find someone who is as exciting to me. Am I only finding it exciting because hes so unpredictable?

My head is all over the place. I want him back, but i dont want to be treated like crap. Im worried if i dont try and fight for him then he will go back to sleeping with that girl..

What is wrong with me? What do i do?