Failing as a mom?

Question

Does anyone feel like they just suck at being a mom? 
My son is 4 and sometimes I just don’t want to be a mom. I’m a stay at home mom, so maybe I’m just seriously burnt out. But I just feel like such a crap mom. 
He has so much energy, I can’t keep up sometimes. I can’t stand playing hide and seek, or playing with his nerf guns, or pretending to be pirates. 
I don’t think Blippi is funny and I’m tired of watching it! 
I’m tired of fighting with him to brush his teeth every day. 
Some times I just have no patience or I just get so tired of the noise that I turn the damn tv on so I can get a little break. 
He loves helping me cook but gosh I can’t stand it. It takes forever to get things done and it’s triple the mess to clean up afterwards. 
I try to hide my feelings and I don’t make comments about things in front of him but oh my god, I feel absolutely terrible. 
He needs a sibling or a friend but we can’t afford preschool here. And honestly I’m worried about kindergarten, the public schools are absolutely fucked up now a days. And a new sibling would be so much younger than him, I’m not sure if he would benefit from that.

Answer

Maybe look at sending him to a Mother’s Day out a few hours a few days a week so you can have a break. I’m understand 100%. I fking hate cocomelon. I don’t like noisy baby toys. I don’t wanna always sit on the floor and play cars. But that’s why I chose to go back to work

Answer

Sounds like you both would benefit from getting out of the house more often. Go to the zoo, childrens museum, parks, library story times, etc so that he can socialize and get some energy out and you can chat with other moms and not be the sole provider of entertainment. You can meet people to do play dates with. It’s important for your mental health and for him to learn how to socialize before going into school if you can’t afford preschool. Try to take some time for yourself at the end of the day to watch your own tv shows or do a hobby you enjoy. I don’t love playing hide and seek or watching all the kids shows or all the preschool aged board games but I love my kids and I do it to see their joy and help their development. I also say no! It’s ok to say no sometimes, it’s healthy for them to hear it and understand setting their own boundaries for when they don’t want to do something they don’t have to. I let my kids cook and bake with me often and go into it mentally as a project and activity with them so that we can all enjoy it - and so then when I just need to get food on the table I say no to them helping and tell them sometimes mommy wants to do it all by myself just like they like to do things all by themselves. If they ask to play a game I just don’t have the capacity for I offer something I DO have the capacity for - I don’t feel like playing a game right now, I can play with you later or id be happy to read you some books? Hang in there mama! The days can be tough sometimes, they’re still learning and they don’t carry life’s burdens with them, they just want to spend time with you they don’t have the mental to do list and burn out that you do. And you are their whole world! So try to find some balance and definitely get out of the house more often

Answer

I am pretty sure we have all gone through this in some way. You might consider looking into some mom groups to spend time in. I regret not doing this. My son is 7 now and in classes for social behavior awareness and speech therapy. It was really difficult to break out of the shell I had been in. Eventually I got a part time job and my mother in law was able to watch for those few hours a day. It helped me a lot to get the space I needed. This was right before pre-k. And then pre-k was when the pandemic hit. We were stuck at home again all the way through kindergarten. 1st grade he finally got to go back to school. He is a good kid, very loving. But he often copies other kids and doesnt realize not all kids want to be chased after or whatever else. We are trying for another because I am ready. Even though he is already at this age, it can teach him how to be a big brother and be relied on at times. I was often pushed to have more kids because "kids need siblings" but I wasn't ready and I didn't like the forceful feeling of ppl saying I need it because they want me to.  Anyway, you aren't failing, you just need help. You need a break and some guidance. It is your first child. We all did. Find someone, a relative, a close friend and ask if you can get some you time for a couple hours.

Failing as a mom?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey