My boyfriend of two years, one of us living together is a dog dad. He adapted a sweet amazing terrier 8 years ago, most it has been the two of them. The relationship he has with the dog has made me very uncomfortable lately.

For example, he get anxious (sometimes physically) when leaving the dog. The dog too develops stomach issues and stops eating each time. He only trusts me and his mom with the dog. He hand feeds, chews meat and other hard food before feeding, and never bathes nor grooms the dog. When he does bathe the dog, his mom has to do it and request for it. My boyfriend gets nervous when we have guests, worries about the dog. When we travel it usually involves the dog, I feel like a third wheel. When I suggest giving it a try with other people to dog sit, he said, “It’s not easy.” His day in between going to work, is laying on the couch while the dog licks his head while he scrolls on YouTube videos. During the day, he takes the dog for a walk three times a day. When he arrives home, when no time to process, he bypass me when I am making us dinner, to microwave the dog food. As a result, I feed the dog before hand, but it usually does not eat. He does not rest if the dog is asking for his attention. On different accessions, while in the middle of sex, the dog barks he stops to tend to the dog’s needs. He also hides to play (rolling around on the ground and him licking him) with the dog. He mimics a lot of the dogs behaviors, he itches himself on the wall, he licks my face, and sniffs on me. The dog sheds a lot, he does not clean his car, he hates it when l vacuum because it scares the dog…I could go on and on…I was not raise to have such huge connection with dogs, so I wonder if that has anything to do with my level of understanding of these types of behaviors. When we attempt to discuss issues surrounding the dog, he states, “You are envious of the dog” and “ Yes, am codependent with him.” I am considering therapy because I don’t not see myself living with that for the rest of my life. I love the dog, I don’t think the dog requires much of him. When I address the issue with his family, they often say, “ We know, we wish the dog would just die.” I don’t feel that that’s any help, because they enable him to be that way with the dog.

Is there something I am missing? How do I get comfortable with him being that way with his dog?