Have you guys experienced this???

Question

Hey lovelies 
So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years. I love him and I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else. I’ve never doubted his love for me, he cares for me in a way I’ve never experienced 
Along with the roses part obviously there’s the not so good. We are currently in our always fighting phase, and everytime I think we’ve made it out we just coke right back. So I know that if I was to just put my own feelings aside and cater to my boyfriend even just the next 1 month we would be great. But I don’t want to be the only one trying. I know sometimes you have to give more than you get, it can’t always be 50/50. But is it worth it? Have you guys experienced this? Should I just do it because I know how much we love each other?

Answer

If you two really love each other and want to be together forever, I highly suggest couples counseling. Couples counseling isn't a sign that relationship us failing like alot of people think. My husband and I went because we were simply arguing alot and it ended up just not knowing each other's communication styles. Couples therapy opening our eyes. It opened my eyes to some stuff I was doing like oh oops, and him too. Them we learned each other's preferred communication. It was.... life changing to say the least. I wish it was a requirement before marriage or getting serious because it's that beneficial in my opinion.

Answer

Fighting phase.. is this a thing? I mean sure couples have good days and bad like everyone else but you’re talking about months at a time of a roller coaster ride right? What’s the disagreement(s) on? Is there never resolutions-even agree to disagree? When you agree to disagree you have to really mean it.

Answer

There is no "always fighting" phase in relationships. If this is a big change in your relationship then you both need to work on finding better ways to communicate. Otherwise this may just be the natural conclusion to this relationship.

Answer

I've been with my husband over a decade and never had a phase where we constantly fought. That isn't a normal phase everyone goes through. Tough patches when life tries you but we went through those together. At times we might have been more snippy with each other at high stress moments but never lasted more than a few days and was never a regular thing. And yes it is give and take but 60/40 is a lot different that 100/0 which is what you are saying. So of you do that for a month and you bf is happy what happens next month?? Nothing got resolved and it just goes back to where it is now.  You're then gonna be upset when he doesn't change to meet you or give you his everything and he is gonna be annoyed it went back when things were good for him and you are right back in the bad. If you truly want to make it work go to couples therapy. Good relationships take work and the work has to be mutual or it is not gonna change a thing

Answer

No because you will likely build resentment. My husband and I are both stubborn and fiery people. We both had to learn to be solution focused vs principle focused or trying to get our way. So we both had to learn to be more breezy and let things go, pick our battles, let the other do things their way etc. I mean yes you can be the one to initially disengage in a power struggle, but you also cant be a doormat for everything, especially matters important to.you. And if youre being mistreated, I dont care how much you know he 'loves you' but that should never be tolerated.

Answer

This is not normal or healthy. You shouldn't have to do that to stay in a rrelationship.

Have you guys experienced this???

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