Best to keep quiet? Or speak up ?

Back story, every time I have a complaint about my husband or want to discuss an issue about him, most times I end up apologizing. He is very good with words, so I feel like I don’t have a place to complain, I overthink, exaggerate things and I’m sensitive. At the end of our “discussions” I usually do the silent treatment, while he acts as if nothing happened or he did nothing wrong. This lasts for a day, then I’m fine.

Over our 11 year relationship, I’ve learned to pick my battles and not complain about useless things. Only things that really bug me and I can’t get my mind off of. This saves me from getting upset and not feeling like I have no right to complain about him.

So on Wednesday or so, we have this conversation.

Husband: there’s a soccer tournament on Christmas eve the boys invited be to. Is it cool if I go?

Me: why does it have to be on Christmas eve, can’t it be the day before Xmas eve or after Christmas? Don’t they want to be with their families on Christmas eve ?

H: Christmas eve is not a holiday and we don’t have anything planned. But I can say no if you want me too.

He is right, we don’t have anything special planned, but I do think Christmas eve is a holiday. He plays soccer every Saturday morning with his Friends, but at first, I didn’t t realize that Xmas eve fell on a Saturday this year. So I said:

if it’s in the morning or early afternoon, that’s fine with me . ( even before we had out 5 month old son, we always watched Xmas movies, sports, hung out with family or friends,had dinner together, or something during the evening. )

Him: but I never play soccer in the evening, I’ve always played in the morning, why is it an issue now ?

Me: (checked my calendar) oh is it on a Saturday? My bad, it’s fine with me, since we don’t have anything planned and that’s your normal play time.

If I had said no, chill with us at home, or let’s find something to do together instead, I promise you, he’ll act like he’s so depressed missing out on the tournament with his friends -with his phone glued to his hand. That would have irritated me more. Our son and I always have an extra nap Saturday mornings anyways. Also another issue I have is, he’s so quick to make and agree with plans with his friends, but not with us. So I’ve taken the role with scheduling things, but I told him that’s it’s still possible for us to have fun with a baby too 🤷‍♀️.

Fast forward to today, not that long ago:

Him: so the tournament is a 9am on Christmas eve, did I tell you that?

Me : yep! ( I was changing our sons diaper at the time)

Him: since it’s a tournament, each team pays $300 to enter. There’s a prize ( then he goes on explaining the prizes based on how many teams show up)

Me: … yeah, we don’t have anything planned that day so…

Him: why are you sounding as if someone punched you in the face ?

Me: ( pause from changing the diaper and I looked at him ) what do you want me to say, how do you want me to respond?

Him: I don’t know, you just sound dull and bored . At least sound normal.

Me: this is my normal, but I sound like someone punched me in the face ?

H: well it seems like you got something more to say

Like… wth? We already talked about this, he knows I’m not all happy happy joy joy about it but I agreed that he could go. Why is he picking an argument with me ? I’m so glad I didn’t respond to him because it would end up with me repeating myself from Wednesday and him defending himself, then me feeling bad/overthinking everything. Like, what more do you want me to say,?

This is kinda a vent, and I’m overthinking again 🙄, but in general, is it always necessary to speak my mind whenever I’m challenged? Even though I know it’ll end in an argument? Or just keep quiet and leave the conversation completely ( I do this

Often)?