I need advice. Doubt anyone has the same experience but if you have gone through something similar, I would really appreciate advice. Long story short..here is my trauma: My mothers family moved to the US when I was little. Her younger brother is about 8years older than me. From the ages of 5-7 I was molested by this uncle. As a little girl I didn’t understand what he was doing until I was about 7, I realized and I felt dirty ever since.. My family and I moved to another town after this point and I didn’t see him for many years (besides family gatherings). My young mind was able to block it and push it away. Although it was always at the back of my mind.. i was able to forget and forgive in a way? In high school he would offer me rides to school and would smoke pot with me. He was always so nice that I had to have imagined what happened. Until one day at Christmas when I was 18 he sat next to me and put his arm around me..the way he rubbed my back as he did it turned my stomach and immediately I knew. It did happen. He knows it happened. He knows what he did! I moved away after this point and it wouldn’t be until I had my first daughter at 25, that I found myself finally addressing these feelings and memories. I couldn’t look at my daughter and imagine a world where something like this could happen to her and she not feel safe enough to come to me. So I told my mom. She was upset, we cried, she cursed him and I told her not to tell anyone… well she decided to tell my grandmother.. who then tells her “oh yea I knew. But it wasn’t my son it was her brother that did that” EXCUSE ME!!!! My brother has never and would never!! And also I REMEMBER! I know it was my uncle! Either way my mom felt the need to confront me with these lies and ask if it was true. I said, no what the fuck!? My brother never did that to me! And even if that where true. She says she knew!? And didn’t feel the need to say anything or stop it or PROTECT me! what the FUCK! Well the trauma and gaslighting didn’t stop there.. she told the whole family this lie and no body felt the need to reach out to me and ask if it was true or idk see if I was OK!? Anyway.. I blocked them all out of my life, except my mom. But my mom still sees my grandmother everyday, sees the family often and they all act like they don’t understand why I don’t come around. Well last year it was confirmed that they were all sat around talking about my trauma and my grandmother again defended her son and blamed my brother. That was the last straw. It’s not proof enough that my uncle hasn’t come around since I told!? They all would rather stick with my grandmother and pretend I never happened. I told my mom I can’t do it anymore, I never want to see any of them again and this is why I never told her.. I thought my mom would defend me or confront them or at the very least stop going over there.. but no, she just doesn’t tell me anymore and they all get to pretend..

I guess that wasn’t so short but MY GOD there is more.. yesterday I find out from my cousin that everyone was at the “family” Christmas and “oh your mom didn’t say anything?” I’m just done at this point.. it’s not that I want to be there or see anyone again. It’s the fact that my whole family chooses my grandmother and her word and I am left here.. with my kids having to think of a kids friendly reason why we are not included in the family.. so yea where do I go from here? I want to call my mom today but is it even worth it? I have said all of this to her and she will never choose me over her mother.

I know this is so long but I needed to get it out. Maybe someone with experience or the money to afford therapy could shed some wisdom? Anyway Happy Holidays everyone I hope you have love and laughter always💖

Oh and one last thing. My abusers name is CARLOS RODRIGUEZ. May he rot in hell.🙏