I'm so stuck 😣

So I've been wanting to leave my relationship.

We've been together for 8 years and there are kids involved (bio and step)

He ruined me financially which is the main reason I am leaving and I'm having a lot of trouble to find a place for myself. (he ruined me in more ways than just financially but those don't matter as much when it comes down to renting a place)

I haven't told him I'm leaving him for sure just yet.

He knows I checked out and we are "working on things" Which we were for real but I have decided I am done but I have no place to go.

I can't go to the shelter, I might lose my job and I don't want to put my kid through that.

I can't stay with my parents.

I can afford some rental places and I actually visited a few the last few weeks, which feels horrible to me because I hate to lie but I haven't told my partner yet so I can't tell him that I'm looking at places.

I am afraid he'll show me the door, and I'll be homeless. He can't actually show me the door because both our names are on the lease but it might not be realistic to stay after I drop that bomb.

I could afford our place by myself, but I would leave because he needs this space for all of his kids. we only have 1 together so it's easier to find a place for me and our baby than for him with a baby and 3 teens.

But I've been looking at places and it honestly has me so discouraged.

The places I've looked at are in really bad shape.

I visited some with our baby and he's been over the moon, telling me "mom it's so pretty" (he's 2, what does he know 😅) but they are small, in bad shape and expensive as hell. But they are also rented out so fast. So I barely have the time to apply for an apartment and then talk to my partner.

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As update I should add that I am not in the USA. I'm in western Europe.

Where I am it's not allowed to rent a room of a place you share with strangers when you have kids (a minor in your care). A lot of it has to do with the fact that sex offenders and pedophiles are registered but it's not accessible information for the public (or landlords) because of privacy laws and regulations.

But I am absolutely baffled at the renting cost at the moment.. because we are living in a very decent 4 bedroom house with attic and basement and front and backyard. And for thesame price in thesame area at the moment I can only find horror houses and apartments. I visited an apartment 2 days ago that was 2 rooms overall, 1 bedroom, 1 living room, a tiny bathroom and a half decent size kitchen which was old, kinda gross and didn't have room for a fridge or an oven. It was tiny, and it basically looked and felt like a basement. There was no outdoor space and no space to place my bike (which is currently my only means of transportation) and if I'd get a car I wouldn't have an area to put it. Which isn't in my plan soon but maybe some day.. But it's absolutely crazy right now. It's not like we're currently paying the rental cost for 15 years ago, we're only in this house for 4 years.