Would you text your coparent first about getting the child or wait for them?

I have a bad relationship with my sons father and step mom. They don’t call or check up on our son (10) any if he isn’t there. They don’t go to any sport events (even on their time I have to take him and bring him back), school events, dr appts (even hospital visits when he broke his arm, just called to tell him there were reasons he wouldn’t go see him), literally nothing. But they do normally see him every other week for the most part. I normally message them to ask because if I don’t they don’t ask to get him or wait until the day of to say they want to get him. Sometimes I feel like I’m forcing a relationship but I do want them to have it. I want our son to spend time over there and have a good relationship with everyone. Im not sure if I should reach out or wait for them to. Advice?