What would you do?

Question

Let’s say your boyfriend proposes to you when your a few months pregnant. He’s off telling people he thought it was the right thing to do since we’re having a baby. Now fast forward the baby is 8 months old and the guy is saying he don’t want to be married because his parents marriages didn’t work ect ect. So now we’re back to dating? How do you go backwards? The weirdest part of all, he thinks it’s ok and we’re supposed to go forward in life all happy. How? 
Thoughts and opinions wanted.

Answer

i think that’s an odd thing to do. but also i wouldn’t wanna marry someone who only proposed because “it’s the right thing to do” cause he wouldn’t have propose otherwise if u weren’t pregnant, he probably late realized he didn’t wanna get married

Answer

Honestly, this IS okay. Think about it. He only proposed to you because you were pregnant, because he felt it was "the right thing to do". He felt pressured into proposing because there was a child involved. Now he has had time to actually think and reflect and decided that now is not the time to be married. He has fears of marriage based on his parents and that is okay. The good part is that he did not leave you but instead wants to stay with you. I wouldn't see it as going backwards. I would see it as a chance to come together stronger and build your relationship as a family. I do strongly suggest having a calm deep conversation on how he feels about you, your child and your whole relationship. If he just doesn't want to get married atm then set that as a goal and work on what yall need to work through to get there. If he just doesn't want to be married at all ever, then you need to decide if being with him as an unmarried family is enough for you or if you need that piece of paper to prove his commitment and feel whole. If it isn't enough then you need to decide if you need to leave and find someone who wants the same things as you.

Answer

Sounds like he decided he doesn't want to marry you after all and is making excuses? That's very odd and weird to do.

Answer

I wouldn’t accept that to be honest. You can be engaged for a very long period of time without getting married. Years even. You don’t even need to plan a wedding. But to have such a significant moment in your gfs life and then be like “jk” and act like she should be fine with it is crazy to me. Virtually nothing changes between gf/bf and fiancé/fiancé from a legal or lifestyle standpoint so why regress? If these were his feelings, he could have talked about postponing the wedding or just having a long engagement but not demote the relationship to where he las less commitment

Answer

I think he did some introspection and realized that he proposed for the wrong reasons. I respect his honesty. However, if marriage is something thats important to you and you dont foresee yourself being ok with being with someone permanently without marriage, then youre absolutely entitled to feel that way and you need to be honest with yourself and with him.

What would you do?

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