So lost and confused - 2.5 years TTC
This is my first time posting in the community... I've been browsing for a while and using the app for 7 months though and finally today after feeling like I have no one to turn to, I thought I would post.Ever since my husband and I met, he has made it very clear how much he wants to be a dad. I was on the fence about kids at first but hearing his passion for wanting to be a parents has made me want it too. We have a mild male factor infertility so for the first 2 years of trying, we were just not using anything and seeing what happens. Then after 2 years I decided to get some tests done to make sure that I'm ok. Turns out that I have cysts on both ovaries... it might be PCOS but I haven't had further testing done yet to find out for sure. I'm not overweight at all, I never gain any weight, and don't have a lot of the other signs of PCOS so who knows. I'm supposed to be going for more tests pretty soon.On Saturday we were out for dinner and my husband kept talking about how he would be happy with no kids and kept asking me if I would be too... I kept responding with how I would like one (and only one!) but if that doesn't happen for us then we can be great just the two of us. Last night I was in a lot of pain because I'm ovulating and I felt kind of sick, which is normal for me. My husband knew this and today he texted me and said that I should go on birth control to stop the pain because birth control is supposed to help with PCOS.I just don't know what to do or think anymore... he went from loving kids and couldn't wait to have one with me, to this! He used to talk all the time about when we have a baby. We're in the process of building a new home and he hasn't made one reference to possibly having a baby's room in there, whereas when we bought our current house he was so excited at the possibility. If I try to talk to him about it he just tries to change the subject. Sometimes he says he's too old to have kids (he's 38) and other times he just says that he doesn't want our marriage to have the pressure of trying to have a baby. I'm a total loss right now! I wanted a baby because of him and I was so excited! I've accepted that it won't be easy for us to conceive and I'm ok with that, I've never let it get in the way of our relationship and never obsessed about it and now... it's off the table?! I feel like he got this huge switch after I went to the doctor and now I just feel disgusting and let down. Sorry... I just had to vent somewhere, I feel so lost and confused.