Would you ask hubby to stay sober with you?
Hi ladies. I've been really struggling with this one and I just want some advice.
Before pregnancy, the hubby and I smoked marijana every night before bed. It was just a relaxing ritual that would make us chill after our long day. We would also drink when we went out for dinner or had friends over. So when I got pregnant, it was a big adjustment for me to go to 0, but one that was obviously necessary.
At first, hubby was like "if you can't, I don't want to either" and abstained. I thought it was unnecessary but amazingly sweet. He said we were in it together and he wanted to make the sacrifice too.
We went through a rough patch - family illness, me sleeping all the time, work stresses - and I told him to go ahead and do it because I wanted him to be happy. Before long he went back to everyday.
It's starting to get to me. I confronted him and challenged him to be sober for one week. I just feel detached from him and I think it would bring him empathy of the sacrifices I'm making, plus get him ready for when baby comes and we will have to give it up anyway except for rare occasions when we have someone watching the baby.
I'm trying to get down to the "why" I want him to do it but I don't have a good reason. It's not like it changes his behavior, he acts exactly the same. And it's not like it's tempting me, I will be abstaining through the pregnancy no matter what he does.
I guess it's just that it's fundamentally unfair and I want him to do it because I asked him too. :/ That's my pregnancy logic.
I just want to feel like we're on the same team again, and it hurts my feelings that he won't go without for a week when I'm doing it for 9 months. What do you girls think?
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