Different dads

My son is now 5. His dad walked out on him when he was 1 and he hasn't seen him since. I met someone when he was around 2 and he's pretty much taken the dad role. My son still doesn't know that's not his real dad. ( not sure when I'll tell him)  
​Lately the relationship has gone downhill. He hasn't been there for me or my son at all. He's never around and when he is it seems like he doesn't want to be there. I've tried talking to him several times and nothing. I've basically said that he needs to make an effort to be part of my sons life and be there for him. He sees it as me trying to change him and tell him what to do. 
​Am I wrong for asking this of him? Is it really too much to ask from your partner to help you out and be there for your son?  

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