First Miscarriage, 6 Weeks
These last few days have been an emotional roller coaster.
I started lightly spotting on Saturday. I wasn't too concerned, but went to Emergency regardless. I'm O-, so had been told that if I had any spotting at all I'd need a shot of antibodies. They took my blood and told me that it was too early to see anything on an abdominal ultrasound, so I should sit tight and return in a couple of days for another blood test to see what my hormone levels were doing. By Monday, the bleeding was heavier, but my hormone levels had risen considerably, so I was reassured. I was told to come back the next day for an internal ultrasound.
Unfortunately, the bleeding persisted and on Tuesday they were unable to find anything on ultrasound. I was empty. They couldn't find any sign of an ectopic pregnancy and couldn't explain why my hormone levels had risen. I was told to return again on Thursday (tomorrow) for another blood test to find out if my levels would start to decline.
Today I have passed a finger sized piece of dense tissue. It is not a clot, or a small piece of lining. I held it in my hand and knew what I was looking at. Finally, the last piece of hope that I had been clinging to fizzled away. I'm still waiting on the results of my latest bloodwork, but have now accepted what has happened.
Sadly, my husband is out of the country for work, so we have both been dealing with this alone. We have support from our family, but I just need him here.
This was to be our first baby. I don't know how people keep trying after this. I just don't feel strong enough to chance facing this again.
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