I just need to vent
I hate the things that come with having a boyfriend. I hate crying. I hate worrying. I hate being mad. I miss the person i was before all of the complications of a boyfriend. I miss being able to only rely on myself for happiness and only depending on myself so that way id never be let down. Now im let down all the time, im not taken seriously, im a joke to him. Now i feel used and taken advantage of. I hate never knowing when we're going to have a good day, waking up not looking forward to visiting him because more then likely we're going to fight. Leaving his house in a bad mood and not caring enough to text him back because the fights are the same thing everytime. I say the same thing every time. Sometimes i just wonder if i should settle for less because it doesn't get better. It sucks that i have to think that way. I hate feeling that way. Why do i even talk when it doesn't change anything ever. My words dont mean anything to him. To him i just nag, my wants and needs just dont matter. He only realizes these things when its too late and when im already pushed over the edge. All the chances iv given him always get put to waste. Love doesn't feel like this. I hate the person i have become with him. i hate the trust issues hes given to me, how different i am now. We used to be so happy... Love is supposed to change you for the better, so why do i feel worse ?
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