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Has anyone lost friends or strained friendships while undergoing fertility treatments?
A little less than two weeks ago, I had a disagreement with a friend. I've been under a lot of stress lately because of IVF and the associated hormone treatments, and for the most part I've been able to fight back most of it. But, over the last few weeks, I lost the ability to hold it in so tightly.
The stress overflowed, and resulted in my apparently saying or doing something that set this friend off -- I'm still puzzled as to what was so bad vs. a run of the mill misunderstanding that an apology could fix.
I saw said friend a day or two after the mess happened, and before I could even open my mouth to start an honest conversation to try and understand why she was upset, she told me to just get out ... and hasn't talked to me since. She's defriended me, she's put me on ignore (I haven't directly tested this, but an indirect test has confirmed it plus she does not respond to anything I say in chat). The only thing I can think of that I might be guilty of is trying to talk too much. But immediately after she told me she "needed some space" (weasel words if I've ever heard them.)
I stopped talking to her other than to say "okay" -- except for an attempt, face to face, to patch things up where online tone misunderstandings couldn't make matters worse. (And she apparently told at least one friend that I didn't give her space, which is a lie; I did so immediately when she said so).
This was one of the only two local friends I have. (the other can't see this, either; I don't feel comfortable with anyone close to this situation, as in knowing the person involved or knowing anyone who does, seeing this). And, I'm trying to convince myself that other friends in the same social group talking to me less is not related to this but related to them needing time to themselves (and some have said they're stressed, so I am trying to not bother them), but it's difficult when those people used to chat merrily to me whenever I wanted to chat with them, and now there's nothing but silence. I've been trying to calm my fears but it's not working. At all.
These are the people who once said "I'm so glad we're friends" and planned so many things with smiles and excitement. I wonder if we will ever come back to smiles and excitement.
I keep breaking down in tears. I don't know how to get better. I feel abandoned, hurt, lost, and like I will never feel those warm fuzzy feelings of acceptance and inclusion.
That can't be true, can it? My conscious mind says things will get better. My emotions refuse to listen.
And I also keep thinking that this person's being intolerant of my "these hormone treatments are fucking me up" is disgusting. So is giving me this kind of treatment over something so minor. I keep thinking I might not want to accept her back if she's so not-understanding, especially after claiming to be such, especially after explicitly saying "I don't give up on my friends". What kind of person lies so blatantly? Not the kind of friend I really want.
Has anyone else ever felt anything like this in the least? And why are people so not-understanding of what this struggle is like and that yes, hormones can lead us to day and do things we normally wouldn't?
It's insidious how you feel normal at the ting but once the hormones are stopped you are horrified at what you said and did and are deeply sorry, but the target of your accidental abuse refuses to listen.
And this after you warned your grounds that you were about to undergo some medical treatment that could affect your behavior! And they claimed to understand...
I'm pregnant now, so IVF worked and so I'm overjoyed at that, but... I'd have preferred that my friends were more understanding than they turned out to be.
Please, if you have experiences like this or thoughts, do share.
How do I try to fix things? Should I? When?