Today is the worst day of the year.

So,little backstory.

My first pregnancy,ever,was when I was 15. I was young,dumb and very stupid. I was with a guy I had no business being with. Unfortunately,I lost the child due to a very nasty car accident. I was 17 weeks with what I had JUST found out three days before was a little princess. It's been seven years. I am now 22,and my angel should have celebrated her 7th birthday today. I currently have 3 beautiful,handsome boys,ages 2.5,19 months & 19 months & am TTC before I have to have a hysterectomy in 3 years due to having issues with my uterus. I was blessed to have them,and I know this, especially when I see how some of you are having difficulty conceiving.. But I still feel like a part of me is missing. I know deep down,I was way to young to be having a child,to young to be a mother but I still mourn the loss of the child I will never know. The guy to this day doesnt even know what happened,muchless that I was pregnant. He was in JDC at the time I found out and when I lost her. I told his mother but I pray she kept the secret. He wasn't ready for a child in anyway due to a major drug problem. I found out recently that He has a 4year old little girl,so maybe he changed..

We no longer have contact,and haven't for about 5 years now. I just wish this loss got easier with time but clearly it doesn't.