What's your first impression when you hear someone is mentally ill? You think of the person muttering to themselves nonsense to the voices they only can hear, or the person who constantly lands in the hospital due to damage done to himself by constant suicidal thoughts? Well, yes that's a fraction of them, but most of us are well managed, ordinary people who just happen to have an illness that affects the brain, which of course effects the rest of the body. Of course, I'm preaching to the choir here on Glow, but this is something I posted for everyone on my blog on WordPress. (You can follow me at www.msaum3.wordpress.com.) 

According to CareNotes "Loving Someone with Mental Illness", an estimated 26.2 percent of Americans 18 and older or, about one in four adults, suffer from some sort of mental disorder in a given year. That number according to Richard O'Connor PhD, author of Undoing Depression, that number is expected to rise globally. And the 26.2 percent figure doesn't take into account the children and adolescents that suffer too. 

We as supporters, survivors of mental illness, and caregivers have to support our friends, people close to us, even strangers at times and give them the care they need to the best of our ability. Here's what Lisa Petronis, author of this CareNote, says we should do for them: 

1. Educate yourself. 

The best way of knowing how to best treat someone with mental illness, other than going through the illness yourself, is to find literature, doctor's input, and other educational materials about the particular mental illness that this loved one or other person has. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) are excellent resources. They have the websites www.nami.org  and www.samhsa.gov respectively. 

2. Ask for support from the treatment providers delivering care for your loved one. 

Typically a person with mental illness may need outside support from the various treatment providers which include therapists, psychiatrists, case workers, hospital in-patient and out-patient staff, and others. Often times a outside party is essential for getting people on the road to recovery. If your loved one is over 18 and signs a consent form so family can interact with the treatment providers, they tend to get a much better prognosis in the long run than the doctor just hearing how the patient herself is doing. If not, then parent/guardian can get involved since the child/adolescent is a minor. Family therapy may be used as a way of the therapist and psychiatrist to get a full picture of how the patient is doing and the family can best help the patient. Plus, while many mental health staff are accustomed to giving support, some providers are better than others and it's up to us to ask for the support we need in getting our loved ones healthy. 

"We have learned that you must not allow fear and sympathy for your mentally ill loved one to keep them from becoming happy and productive and as independent as possible. Have faith in their ability and provide the help they need to learn how to manage their illness and participate fully in life." - Mother of a mentally ill son

3. Connect with local support groups. 

NAMI and others places can provide support groups for those diagnosed with mental illness. This can help them feel that they aren't alone or "crazy". The support groups can be peer facilitated or professionally facilitated. The difference between the two is that one is mediated by a professional and the other by people who have gone through the illness themselves. 

"Recovery is a process, and we can model that process for our loved ones by reaching out for help in a variety of ways." - Jeff Jay and Jerry Boriskin

4. Promote independence and self-sufficiency for your loved one. 

Being mentally ill does not necessarily mean they are incapacitated as those of us with mental illness already understand. But every person is different however. Try to have them feel that they can be of use and that they aren't a burden to others. Codling is not wanted but cuddles and reassurance are. 

"While a person's mental ability may have changed, he or she is still a person. We may never be able to change a person. However, we can always ask God to bless him or her. We can always love the person." - Very Rev. John Dolan: Pastor and Author

5. Ensure balance and self-care in your own life. 

Taking care of a loved one with mental illness can be taxing (I know my mother can attest to that fact!) so it's important that you take care of yourself as well or your loved one's care may suffer as a result. 

Here are some of the following suggestions you can do to take care of yourself: 

- Maintain a healthy diet and exercise. 

- Participate in recreational activities. 

- Participate in social activities (going out to eat with friends or family for instance).  

- Have a productive use of solitude. 

- Attend to one's psychological state. 

- Practice spiritual or religious activities. 

- Maintain a hopeful stance. 

- Practice patience and compassion towards your loved one. 

6. Take heart. 

"In this life there is so much pain from unwelcome situations outside our control. Our pain and suffering can be deeply transformative if we are able to recognize that we are not suffering alone. Armed with psychological, physical, and spiritual strength, surely you will prevail against the challenges that face you." - Dr. Lisa Petronis 

Sources: 

Undoing Depression 

by Richard O'Connor PhD

CareNotes 

"Loving Someone with Mental Illness" by Dr. Lisa Petronis