I need to vent!!

My ex boyfriend from 5 years just got engaged a month after we broke up. I was of course heart broken when I found out because of the way I found out. I found out because I looked on his page trying to make up because it was our pattern. Now I know he lives with this girl and her daughter. Now this is the same man that was trying to move in with me, telling me he wanted to marry me. Well I'm not proud of this next part. We reconnected while he has his fiance and we ended up in bed together twice. My heart is stuck on this man but I realize that this is wrong and if he would do it to her then he damn sure would do it to me. Matter fact he apparently already did. This man is my first love. I know what I deserve and my momma did teach me better but I can't.. anybody else know what I'm saying?