********WARNING********

**EXTREMELY graphic picture**

*picture is of a 9 week old fetus/embryo*

Please do not look if you cannot handle it, it is very graphic and SAD.

I have always been pro-choice. I believed women should be able to make their own decisions about their bodies. I believed that situations occur that are out of our control and/or situations that we cannot handle economically, emotionally, etc.

After I lost my baby last night at 9 weeks, I've changed my view.

I kept bleeding and cramping and just sat on the toilet for hours. Wiping and wiping the blood away. Then I looked down into the toilet and instead of red clots, there was a white blob with two black dots for eyes laying there. I picked it up and held it in my hands. I could see fingers, toes, arms and elbows and legs and a jaw and a nose and shoulders and what looked like a tongue. My baby liked like it was smiling at me.... :(

It looked like a little person at only 9 weeks! At 9 weeks, it was moving around inside of me. Maybe it can't feel it survive in its own, but as I held it in my hand, I couldn't think of it as just an embryo but only as my BABY.

I'm so sad I can't stop crying & this is absolutely the worst Christmas of my entire life and I don't know how I'm suppose to smile and socialize with my family for dinner. I just want my baby back :( I can't handle this I don't even know what to do.