Im so alone need advice please

I've been with my bf for almost 3 years.. i got pregnant the first time we had sex. I've known him for about 14 years and i have always wanted to be with him but was in a relationship for 10 years and after that ended we got together. About 5 years ago he was in a bad accident and wasnt suppose to be able to walk but he can walk which surprised the doctors but since he cant work we cant afford his meds so the whole relationship he has gone without them and hurts all the time. We talked a lot before we got together and he told me all the time he wanted to hold me and be there for me. He even told me he loved me before i even got to be with him. I lived in a different state and he would come visit me throughout the years. I was trying to get back to my home state and family as i was in a really bad relationship i literally had to tell my exhusband everyday i didnt want to be with him and was moving to be back with my family. I ended it months before talking or even starting a relationship with my now bf. I was in a really really bad relationship to the point of my exhusband pulling a gun on me so when he left for a trip i decided to leave. My now bf told me to come live with him which i wasnt planning on living with him but i left and came to be with him and the first 2 weeks were perfect. This guy has always been the one for me i knew it the first time i met him i wanted to be with him but we both were in relationships and always talked and stayed friends. This is the man of my dreams. My problem is after the first 2 weeks everything stopped. The sex the love the holding physical contact all of it just stopped. He wont and had never even held my hand. Ive said things to him over the course of our relationship about at least try to be there for me in some way but he will kiss me and tell me he loves me but thats it. We have a 2 year old daughter and she is my heart and soul. He says the reason he cant hold me or be there for me is he is in pain and he just cant. I feel like after 3 years, even after my bitching about needing something to make me feel more than just nothing from him, he would have atleast tried to show me something. We argue a good bit now and i still love him with everything i have but he doesnt show me anything. Our whole snuggling routine consist of me holding his arm and i get no type of contact. I am so alone feeling. My heart is literally breaking and nothing i saif changes how he is. Again all i get is im hurting i cant. I understand he hurts i feel so bad theres nothing i can do to make it better but im hurting too. He never had sex with me unless i down right plead it to him. When he wants sex it never last longer than 5 mins and he doesnt even care if i achieve orgasm. He never kisses me touched me. We never make love. Its just wam bam thank you mam. I tell him all the time to just tell me he doesnt want to be with me so i can just move on with my life and stop having some kind of hope for a change. I know deep down nothing will change i just dont want to believe it. I know i am not perfect and have my faults as well but i do everything i can to make sure he is happy and taken care of. Yet im still alone. I feel like i just need to leave him and be alone cause maybe then i wouldnt hurt so much. Recently i started talking to an ex bf. Im not the kind of person that cheats. Its just conversation nothing more. I still have unresolveness with this ex and have thought about him some over the years. I dated this guy about 12-13 years ago and it didnt end badly we just went our separate ways. I cant even have simple conversation with my now bf without him going off on me. Its so petty such as if i dont hear what he says and ask him what did u say repeat that he will get mad and go off on me. I still love my bf so very much and want to spend my life with him. Like i said this is the man of my dreams. I find myself talking to my ex every night. It hurts me that i talk to him. It feels wrong and i cant help but need some sort of human contact with someone and the fact my bf cant even give me contact makes me feel worse but i dont really care that i talk to my ex. Yes it feels wrong but i need more than nothing in my life. Im not looking to start a new relationship or really even ending the one im in but i feel like maybe we need to end it cause its going no where but me staying lonely. If things dont work out im just gonna stay single cause i need to do better with my life. What do you think I need to do, advice, or anything i am so lost and lonely.... thanks

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