Laying Our Baby to Rest Was the Hardest Thing

On April 7th, my fiance and I found out that we had lost our baby.

I was 23 weeks and 2 days along with my 3rd pregnancy and hadn’t felt any movement at all, so we headed into labor and delivery to be hooked up to the monitor for fetal heart tones. The nurse assisting us put the monitor around my belly and moved it around a bit trying to pick up baby’s heartbeat and was only picking mine up so she went and got the ultrasound machine.

She kindly told us she was not an ultrasound technician, but she knew what to look for. She then starts the ultrasound and after a few minutes of not seeing anything she tells us she is going to call the doctor on call (we had never met this doctor) my heart instantly sinks and I begin to cry. The nurse reassures me there is no need to panic yet.

The doctor comes in and begins the ultrasound again as he is moving the wand I thought I felt movement so I said “I think I felt a little movement!” The doctor doesn’t reply back, he just continues doing all these measurements not telling us why or what was going on. After about 10-15 minutes he looks at me and very dryly says, ” this pregnancy was not successful” and walks out of the room.

I start frantically sobbing as all my fears came true — telling the nurse I do not want to have a dead baby. My fiance asked the nurse if she and the doctor were sure our baby had passed away, in utter shock. After making calls to our parents giving them the heart wrenching news, the doctor came back in to tell me my options to deliver my baby.